Idiom Me.....

Ya gotta be quick witted around my house. My little daughters always have something up their sleeve. They’re a regular barrel of monkeys, those two.

Ya really gotta keep up with the best of ‘em. Stay on your toes. Keep your eye on the ball. Sometimes ya even gotta be scrappy around here.

I mean, I always try to keep ahead of the game. Outwit ‘em. Throw 'em for a loop. Head ‘em off at the pass.

But, sometimes they really give me a run for my money. Or simply put, knock me on my hiney.

At the end of the day, I guess you just gotta count your blessings and shine your best silver.

‘Cuz we all know who rules the roost around here.

And, it sure ain’t me.

A big thank you to my friendly idioms for lending a hand in this post. Sometimes a good idiom really knows how to take the words right out of your mouth.

Err…Or something like that…

Dino-Hearted

“It’s ruined! Just ruined!” My preschooler threw herself to the floor, sobbing loudly.

“I am sure we can fix it, honey,” I said moving in to investigate.

“It’s broken and it can’t be fixed!!” She thrust the purple, plastic T-rex into my face, shoulders heaving.

I closely looked for broken parts, but in the end, failed to identify the problem. Prominent fangs were sharply intact. Forearms were in attack position. And, the tail was in working order.

“He looks all good to me,” I reassured her.

“SHE is not good!!” And, then a shaky whisper… “She is hurt.” She pointed to the ferocious beast’s right hand. Sure enough, this prehistoric creature was missing a claw. The tip had snapped off. I can only assume it took place during a hunt, a feeding frenzy or some Jurassic showdown.

“Sometimes dinos break their claws, sweetie. They don’t mind.” I tried to reason with her.

“She does mind. She does!” My Princess Paleontologist wiped her tears. Then a final plea. “It hurts her little finger.”

So, needless to say, I took pity on the beastly creature.

Before I knew it, that dino was all bandaged up, claw in a swing, and re-situated amongst her Jurassic cohorts.

It’s not every day one gets to assist a predatory, prehistoric animal. I felt a little proud. A tab bit heroic, even.

Although, on second thought…… judging from the look on the Stegosaurus’ face, I kinda got the feeling I was doing a little aiding and abetting.

You might want to remind me to do a quick head count in the morning. Just in case.

Chocolate Bandit

He couldn’t be guiltier if he had been holding a smoking gun.

He was standing there wearing his boxers and a lopsided grin. And, he was holding the empty box of Dreyer’s chocolate peanut butter ice cream

“You wanted some?” He asked, attempting to display belated concern.

The gall. The indecency. The lack of civility.

“Scoundrel!” I muttered under my breath, turning on a swift heel.

Now, let’s hope he doesn’t discover the missing Hershey’s chocolate bar that was hidden in his top desk drawer.

Because, that would make me a hypocrite.

Or something. No?

A big thank you to Babymakin' Machine for the lovely shout out! If you haven't been over to visit her yet, what are you waiting for? Jen is so bright, funny and charismatic.....

Playing School

Now, when my little girls invited me to play Schoolhouse, I was under the impression that I would be the one at the chalkboard, ruler in hand.

But, oh, no.

My little ladies had something else up their sleeve.

I was directed to a footstool between Barbie Mariposa and Baby Alive. I was told to sit. Be still. And, heavens be, I had better listen up.

That schoolmaster appeared to be a bit uppity. Crochity, really. She stood in front of class, book in hand and she began her lecture.

On and on she went.

I started to doze off. Who could blame me? She was hard to follow. Kept hopping around topics. Frankly, I questioned her authority on the subjects.

The Dora footstool was jammed into my backside causing my lower extremities to grow number by the minute. I had to think of a plan. And quick.

I searched through my brain archive for escape plans and exit strategies.

I finally settled on the idea to fake illness and ask to be sent to the nurse’s office.

So, in a nutshell, that’s how I ended up lying here in the toddler bed tangled up in bandages with a thermometer up my nose.

Kinda made me consider re-entering the work force.

Mamma Brain

So, anybody out there seen my…ah….my what-cha-ma-call-it?

I know it was right here a minute ago.….

Now, where the heck did it go?

It didn’t grow legs and run off with that darned thing-ah-ma-jig I lost last week, did it?

Do you think you could help me find it?

‘Cuz we are supposed to meet What’s Her Face at that park over by…umm…. Ahh…..by….ah?

I think I’ll flip out if I can’t find it. So, if you could help, I will forever be in your service.

You will? Thank you! I appreciate it.

Ah, what was your name again?


Mamma Brain. It has a language all its own, doesn’t it?