Oh, Buddy! Oh, Pal!

“So, what’s your imaginary friend’s name?” asked my preschooler.

My imaginary friend?

The thought never occurred to me. Now, of course, I had a secret pal years ago as a child. She was great on rainy days and stuck to me like glue during that week with the chicken pox. Even helped out with homework and making the bed.

Hmmm…Maybe it’s time to re-connect.

“Hi, pal. It’s been years! How about you start a load of laundry while I unwind over here on the chaise lounge?”

“We’re outta milk…Oh…imaginary frieend! Buddy, oh, pal!”

“Put a little elbow grease into it, friend. Ya gotta show that mildew whose boss.”

“Me? Of course I didn’t eat the last one, darling. But, that invisible gal in the kitchen looks a little shifty to me.”

My imaginary friend…. She really helps a gal out in a pinch.

Now, if I can just get her to fetch me a glass of wine from my imaginary wine cellar while I lounge by my imaginary pool enjoying the imaginary view, life would be so very sweet.

As you can well imagine.

Sigh.

A big thank you to Stacks and stacks for the wonderful shout out today! I made her Top 5 Mommy blog list! You can see it here. Her site also lists wonderful tips on organizing.

Girls Vanity Review

My daughters and I were in the market for bathroom vanities.

The lil’ gals had amassed a collection of plastic baubles and jewels. Powder puffs and brushes. Purses and doo-dads. Sparkly clips and shimmery scarves.

Simply made sense to clear a cozy corner of their room for this number.

Now, if we could just prevent the magic marker from getting too chummy with her fine ivory surface, we can call it a day.

If you’re in the market for a similar set up for your emerging diva, be sure to check out this site here. You won’t be disappointed.

I haven't received products for my endorsement. However, plans are in the works....

Father Time, quit riding my a$$!!

Lately, Father Time has been riding my a$$. I told him to lay off, but the bugger just won’t let up. Seems he gets to call all the shots in the relationship. And, when I call him out, he’s nowhere to be found.

He’s one slippery fella. Scrappy, too. Always wins.

So, the thought occurred to me. Maybe I should hit him where it counts. Maybe I should have a little heart to heart with his better half. Call up his old lady and let her know what her hubby’s really been up to. Fill her in on every last dirty little secret.

I am sure she would like to know how he’s been messing with us ladies.

It didn’t take long to figure out who his wife is. It was pretty obvious, after all.

I almost got up the nerve. Almost picked up that phone, called her up and let it all hang out.

But, common sense got the better of me.

After all, it’s best not to mess with Mother Nature.

A gal could go grey overnight.

Toddler Pox

My doctor peered over his glasses as I whispered my secrets.

“I think something’s a little off with me lately.”

He leaned closer.

“I’m exhausted at the end of the day. I am distracted. I can’t seem to finish a sentence. I run circles in my home. I have a flabby belly, stretch marks and saggy boobs. I obsessively make macaroni and can’t break my Barney addiction.”

“Hmmm.” My doctor smiled knowingly. “My wife had a bout of this in the 80’s.”

“She did?” I felt instant relief. “What is it?”

“Toddler Pox,” he stated.

I gasped in horror. “Is there a cure?”

“No. No end to this. Rather, it evolves. It starts with Baby Pox. Then, Toddler Pox, of course. Preschool Pox is around the corner. Then you’ll catch a nasty case of Elementary Fever….giving way to The Tweenie Plague… graduating to the contagious Teenage-itis. We will have to quarantine during this time, naturally.” He paused reflectively.

Hands over my face, I took it all in as he continued. “It is cyclical, recurring every 25-35 years. But, for the second cycle, you serve more as a witness rather than a victim. Makes for interesting retirement years.”

“Don’t they inoculate for this?” I asked in outrage.

“The drug companies pushed for a vaccine, of course, but the diaper lobbyists have a strong grip on Washington.” He winked. “I have heard rumor about a certain doctor that can help.” He paused, scratching his head.

“His name is on the tip of my tongue,” he continued, “….Dr. Snik….no…Dr. Snitch….No. Um, that’s not it.….Snit….No,…..Snipity…Ah…yes….Doctor Snippy Snip. That’s him. This will stop a reoccurrence. If you can just get your husband in the car, they’ll fix him up good.”

Hmmmmm?

I was a Guest Blogger over at Natural and Organic bodycare. You've got to check out this blog for advice about organci beauty products and giveaways.

On vacation this week, folks! Off to the Happiest Place....Will let you know how it goes!

Stink Eye

So, he gave it to me. A rolling of the eye as I made my observation.

“You forgot to pick up the milk!” I said.

Then, my preschooler gave it to me when I was braiding her hair before preschool.

“Quit squirming around! I almost got it!”

My toddler was next.

“No more cookies before dinner, Missie!”

Even my furry friends were in on it. Not sure what set them off, but it’s easy to know when a cat gives it to ya.

Stink eye. Nothing’s worse.

But, there’s always a remedy.

Eyebrows knitted together. Eyes a rollin’. Lip a curlin’. Throw in a snarl.

Yep.

Right back at ‘cha!