Campus Book Rentals

Do you remember those days when you had to pay for expensive textbooks in college? Well, that day is over. The smart people over at Campus Book Rentals came up with the idea of renting textbooks. Save money and keep it green!

Campus Book Rentals is teaming up with Operation Smile, an amazing organization that performs life changing cleft lip surgeries on children who families could not otherwise afford it.

For every book rented, Campus Book Rentals will donate a portion of these proceeds to Operantion Smile. Their goal is to cover 1,000 surgeries. Let's help them exceed that goal!

If you or someone you know is in those college years, please consider Campus Book Rentals. It could literally put a smile on someone's face!

Sandman Strike!

I was scanning the headlines the other day when I came across some shocking news.

“Major cutbacks at Sandman Incorporated”

Across the nation, thousands of Sandmen have received their walking papers.

“All I got was this pink slip and a reminder not to let the door hit me on the way out,” says one disgruntled former Sandman.

“They said I was sleeping on the job. You try working the night shift, Bud!” screamed another newly unemployed sleep worker.

"I'm FIRED?! But, I can put anyone to sleep anywhere, anytime. I got skills, I tell ya!"

Thousands more Sandmen have seen reductions in hours, salary as well as benefits.

Morale is down.

“I can’t believe you need a Master’s Degree to qualify for this flea bitten job!”

There has been talk of a merger with a popular over the counter sleep remedy.

The impact is great.

People everywhere are laying awake at night, wheels a turnin’, hoping their sandman will come. And, sometimes his arrival never comes. Apparently, there have been rolling Sandman blackouts in a feeble attempt to decrease spending.

Public outrage is intense.

“I have three kids under five! I can’t afford to have the Sandman skip my house.”

“Why don’t they outsource, Dam Gummit?”

“What about those unskilled workers? I mean, how hard is it to toss some sand around?”

On a positive note, all the media coverage has shed some light on a previously unknown world.

“You mean there really is a Sandman?”

“That’s sweet. How exactly do you land a Sandman gig?”

“Do they run a background check on these fellas?”

Needless to say, the Tooth fairy has been shaking in her boots.

Yep, things have been tough for some of our nocturnal magical creatures.

Think Santa’s safe?

Eek.

Birthday Fairy

Had a visit from the birthday fairy last week.

This year, the fairy was particularly scary.

She was crabby. Growly. Grinchy, even.

I also noticed her hair was a bit greyer.

I tried to welcome her with open arms.

“Hey! It’s my birthday again! Yeah!”

But, my enthusiasm was met with snarls.

Seems even she’s getting sick of herself.

**Poor thing**

So, I advised her to cut back on her work load.

Cut her schedule in half even.

Heck, I was OK with half the visits she had been paying me lately.

I know my friends would be on board with the idea as well. Maybe a tentative every other leap year schedule? Works for me!

Think I’m on to something?

Friday, gotta love the guy!

I think I have a crush on Friday.

By mid-week, I get weak in the knees anticipating his arrival. On Thursday, it begins to sink in. He’s coming!

And, when he arrives, I embrace him and cover him with wet kisses! Oh! Friday! Friday! Friday! My favorite, favorite day!

Friday is that kind of a guy. He fills your head with promises of lazy Saturday mornings, breakfast in bed, picnics in the park and nights out on the town.

He’s a bit of a lady’s man, really. All over town, ladies bat their eyelashes his way, hoping he’ll pay them a visit. And, although he is a love-‘em-and-leave-‘em type, there does seem to be enough of him to go around. He never seems to disappoint. I mean, who complains about Friday?

And, I’ve never known anyone to fight over the guy. Rather, everyone is thrilled just to get their tiny piece of the pie. “Thank God!! It’s Friday!”

As a matter of fact, I think the men are in on this, too. There seems to be a collective sigh heard around the world upon his end of the week arrival.

Everyone is giddy. A little lighter. More relaxed.

Then, he leaves us as quickly as he came, hand in hand with Lady Sunday. Heartbroken, we’re left with some boring guy named Monday. You know the type. All work and no play. Nose to the grindstone. Beady eyed. Cranky. And really teed off that he missed the party.

What a gigolo, that Friday guy, huh? A regular Good Time Charlie.

Sigh.

But, we always take him back, don’t we?

Mommy Morphing

I suffer from Mamma Morphing Disorder. I spontaneously morph into various personalities to suit the situation.

Sometimes I am an old hag complete with a wart and hump shouting my commands and demands.

“For the last time!! Clean up this mess!!”

I am a witch perched atop a broom.

“Time for bed, my pretties!! (insert cackle)”

I am a furry beast baring yellow fangs.

“What did you say? GRRRR!”

I am a house troll chained beneath the stair.

“This laundry will be the death of me!”

I am a wicked schoolmarm armed with ruler and whistle.

“SHHHHHH!”

I am a hunchback in the bell tower, dragging my foot behind me.

“Really, how long has it been since I’ve had a good wax and cut?”

Happily, on rare occasion, I am the Fairy Godmother smiling from amongst the silvery pumpkins.

“Ice cream for everybody. Yeah!”

It’s a regular Disney circus around here.

A storybook soiree.

A cartoon carnival.

A bit of a beastie ball.

Sigh.

Sometimes this revolving door of Disney characters gets the best of me.

“Back in the closet, Tabitha and Isadora. Tuesdays are your day, remember? “

A bit of a scheduling nightmare, really.

Kinda hard to keep up.


**This is a repost from two years ago, 'cuz I'm having that kind of a day.**

Dino Mom

Sometimes I feel like a dino-mom.

Ancient and over the hill. Big and scaly. Roaring and cranky, too.

But, then my little dino-child comes around with a curiosity for all things dino.


“Mommy, what’s this?”

“Who’s that?”

“Why? Why, Mommy, why?”

She skips and dances, humming a tune. She throws her arms around me and professes her love for my dino-mom self.

Then, I smile and think that maybe being a dino-mom isn’t too bad.

Maybe a dino-mom is the best kinda mom to be.

I then go about my day less grouchy, less roary and somehow less ancient.

Later on, I sit down to share a cup of coffee with the T-Rex-mom up the street.

‘Cuz, you know, there’s always a bigger and badder dino on the block.

Kinda made me look like a harmless newt.

Geriatric Washer and Dryer

As you know, I have been struggling with the laundry lately. I’ve been stalked by laundry, seduced by laundry and just driven mad by it.

It’s the hamster wheel of my life.

“Wash it. Sort it. Fold it. Put it away. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.”

Then, my washing machine began to complain.

“My back. My aching back. You never give me a break,” she squawked.

She was a granny of a washer, hand in hand with a grandpa of a dryer. Not quite the duo I needed to help with a young family and spring cleaning.

So, I decided to send them packing to the old folk’s home for appliances. They didn’t complain as we loaded them into the van. They looked happy to come face to face with their retirement years.

As for their replacements, well, I got a couple slinky little numbers over at smarter.com. They have really cheap washers and dryers, I’m telling ya.

You’ll find top brands like Whirlpool, GE and LG. The prices are tops. And, the models are young and eager to please.

‘Cuz if you are going to run with this rowdy crowd of dirty socks, you’ve got to be built like a workhorse.

Good thing I got a good price.

Birds, Bees and Some Naughty Laundry

I was once again grumbling over a hill of dirty socks, per usual.

The sweat was pouring down my face as I wrestled the darks and roughed up the whites. The teetering laundry pile was far higher than I had seen it before. I had been working on it all morning and barely made a dent. I surmised that the clothes must have had their way with one another because the rate in which it multiplied was maddening.

It was true, some laundry mating must have occurred.

And, I knew what I had to do.

I needed to find the Pappa of the bunch and promptly send him to Dr. Snippity Snip.

I dug and I dug, finally finding what I suspected to be the culprit.

He lay there, immodestly clinging to a pair of lacy panties.

A pair of flannel boxers, fly open wide, he was.

I grabbed him by the waistband and said, “No more fun for you, Pal!”

He responded with surprise, “Hey, lady, I was just getting to first base!”

I marched out to the garage and opened the trashcan.

He started to squeal. “Why you raining on my parade? What did I ever do to you?”

I looked him in the fly…er…eye….before saying, “The work around here is never ending! You and that funny business in the laundry basket are making me old before my time!”

Then he started to soften a bit. “Ah, doll. I never knew. How about a little foot massage? I can fix you up with a pair of athletic socks.”

I gave him another look and began to succumb to his charms.

“A foot massage?” I asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” he assured me. “I’m in good with the whole sock crew. I can make you feel real good, little lady. “

Before I knew it, that rascal had convinced me to bring him back inside to continue with his date with the lacy unmentionables.

And, now, I’m sitting here with a single, one eyed, unmated sock named Gladys rubbing my feet while I listen to the laundry pile writhe and moan.

Kinda makes for an interesting afternoon.

A Valentine's Yowza

My kindergartener runs out of her classroom at the end of each day with reckless abandon. Her backpack is bouncing and her jacket is falling off as she giggles and jumps her way into my arms. Her mood is contagious. Her little sister and I hold each of her hands and the three of us hop-skip to our van, laughing the whole way. They each beg me to swing them around and I oblige, lifting each one into the sky before helping them into their car seats.

What is so funny?

I don’t know.

But, I enjoy the moment.

Of course, the day quickly returns to laundry and Mattel madness once we return home. But, for a few glorious moments each day, we experience a bit of glittery magic.

Later that afternoon, I decided to sprinkle some magic on hubby.

I skip and jump my way into his arms as he returns home from work and I cover him with kisses. My laughter is without reason. I hold his hand and skip-hop into our living room. I turn and face him and beg him to swing me in the air.

The result?

Hubs was confused when he did not find the usual lady in sweat pants hissing over a mountain of laundry, of course. But, being the man he is, he seized the moment. I am not one to kiss and tell. But, I can say results were had.

Yowza!

May you find yourself skip-hopping somewhere hand in hand with someone you love today, too. Happy Valentine’s!

Looking for Inexpensive Glasses on the Web?

Stop Being Lazy and Start Shopping Wisely for Glasses

When was the last time you had to buy glasses? If it was over two years ago, you’re due for a new pair. If you bought your last pair at your local eyeglasses store, you know that it’s time to wrangle in some funds in order to buy fashion glasses that are over priced - even cheap designer glasses are over priced. Have you turned online? What are you afraid of?

Sure, the Internet is full of stores that sell cheap glasses and cheap prescription sunglasses but, rest assured, there’s one online store that allows you to buy glasses online at a discount but the glasses aren’t cheap. No no no, they’re quality glasses with a cheap or discounted price tag - GlassesUSA.com. So, a lot of people put “getting healthy” on that pesky resolution list but they probably left vision care out of that group - which is kinda silly. If it’s been a while since your last eye exam, now’s a good time to get your eyes checked.

The next time you need to buy glasses frames - even if they’re just replacements, shop online for discount glasses from GlassesUSA. Stop buying what you think are “cheap glasses” from your local optical store and start shopping online. It’ll save you time and money in the long run.

MammaTalk readers can also take 10% off their next order when they use the code: Mommy10.


**This was a sponsored post. Thank you Glassesusa!**