Battle of the Remote

Alright, Ladies and Gents….In case you just joined us... We’re going for Round 2 in the WWW Sweetheart Battle of the Remote Control. In the last round, hubby pinned his sweetie to the couch landing on ESPN for a total of 30 seconds.

Wifey’s up and ready for round 2. She’s doing a quick cat stretch in the kitchen and ….she’s coming back into the ring…..Oh, this lady’s feisty. She has him in a wicked lip lock. Distraction is her game. His grip is loosening. Ouch! He’s dropped the remote. Wifey does a nosedive under the coffee table. She’s in possession. She’s in possession. This is quickly taking a turn for the manly worse. Oh, she’s hitting that volume button. The Soap Opera channel?? Gulp.

“Oh, Thor! Thank you for rescuing me from falling off that icy cliff. You know, in this light I can see our future when I look into your eyes….”

*Click!!*

The man’s playing dirty pool. He stepped out of the ring and hit the channel button on the TV. Rookie move. Wifey’s calling foul. A penalty for hubby.

Back to the couch they go. Hubby’s performing a foot rub (his penalty). This is gonna be a slow game tonight, ladies and gents…..sorta like watching a defensive struggle on Monday Night Football. What??…Wait a minute, just wait one minute…..Wifey’s eyes are drooping. Oh! She can’t keep them open. Is she falling asleep mid-game? Come on, fella! Ya got your opening. Is he going for it!? Come on, buddy, my granny could pull this one off! Just like stealing candy from a baby. zzzzzzzzz! She’s sawing logs, bud. Take advantage.…. There he goes….He’s….I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t see it with my own eyes….he’s pushing the buttons while the remote is still in her tight grip…Master maneuver.

“Biff! Biff! Smack! You motha…f******!”

And he scores The Gangster Channel! This just may be a win for all manhood. Kids in bed. Wife snoozing. A full stomach and we got Scarface at his best! This may be a hall of famer moment!



Note to hubby…I know I got the sports lingo messed up. That’s what makes it fernnnyy!