Bookworm Wednesday....
Bookworm: Here I am, Bookworm Wednesday, reporter on the street. Tonight I’ve wormed my way between the pages of the children’s classic ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas hoping to score a face to face with that mythical elf, Santa himself.
Book: Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…
Bookworm: So far, it’s been awfully quiet in here, but I know the characters are awaiting the infamous midnight visitor. As I am a sucker for drama, let’s see if we can cut to the chase….
Book:…..and I in my cap had just settled down for a long winter’s nap…
Bookworm: Is the snoring in here bugging you? Let’s skip this page…
Book:…down the chimney Saint Nicholas came with a bound.
Bookworm: Our hero makes a grand entrance! Santa! Santa! A few questions please?!
Santa: Ho-Ho-Ho!
Book: The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath…
Bookworm: Santa, were you aware that the general consensus is no smoking in children’s books? That cancer thing, ya know?
Santa: It’s 1823 here, kid. Lighten up. Ho-Ho.
Bookworm: Is that the copyrighted date? Explains why I am hacking in here. Next time I will bring my ionizer and some pledge.
Book:…and I laughed when I saw him in spite of myself…
Bookworm: Excuse me, sir. Yes, you. The one in the nightie and sleeping cap. Is laughter the appropriate reaction to finding a large hairy man in your parlor in the dead of the night?
Father in story: Don’t know, dude. My agent just told me to show up here in girlie PJs. Does this mean I got the part? Score. That’s hot.
Bookworm: Santa, are you feeling well? You seem rather jittery and shaky.
Book: A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head…filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
Father in book: Dude, he is in character…’lively and quick’, remember. Jeez, man. The gall to question the one and only Mickey Rooney. Wow. No respect. Speechless. Dude.
Santa: Where’s the eggnog? Ho-Ho-Ho.
Bookworm: And, Santa, I noticed earlier when you whistled and shouted and called them by name, you left out Rudolph. Where does he fit into the equation?
Santa: Ho-ho-ho-Who?.
Bookworm: No, Santa, I believe the Whos are featured in another book. But, I digress…
Book: The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow…
Bookworm: And, Santa, I can perhaps let the smoking thing pass, but now we have boobies in the snow? Maybe we need to up the rating to PG-13.
Santa: Talk to my agent, kid. He-he.. I mean, ho-ho.
Book: And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose…
Bookworm: Santa..Santa! Are you up for a sequel?
Father in story: Dude? I think it’s a wrap. We hit it in one take. Hot…. Hey, aren’t these gigs catered?
10 years ago
14 comments:
Ahhh...boobies in the snow...nice!
I have been thinking the same thing about the "breast of snow" I guess we are all over sexed now! Clever and great post! Merry Xmas!
Funny! I never thought of the "breast of snow" Now, when I read this book, I am going to be laughing. What a hoot!
Have a very Merry Christmas!
ahahahaha snow and boobs! fun!!
LOL Dude that was fun!
That was great! Really creative. Good point about the smoking thing! And I will forever picture boobs while reading this now!
Lol! Great update on a classic!
I had no idea this book was so racy. I'm so pulling it off the shelves here until the children are at least 25 years old.
:^) Anna
You always make me smile!
That was awesome! So great! Hope you had a great Christmas and have a great New YEars!
Now I understand why this book was shoved between my teenage son's mattresses! Whew! I thought he had a thing for Santa and was worried for a minute. Glad to hear it's just about the boobs.
LOL! Now that was funny.
Hi......
Your blog is really interesting... Keep posting.... Wishing you " A Happy New Year''
Heee heee! Never thought of Santa as a dirty old man, but the boobies thing . . .
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