Thursday, December 11, 2008

Opposite Directions

I now have two children that can walk. Happened a couple months back. No more baby blob securely strapped to my hip, front or back. Now, there are two of them moving….mostly in opposite directions.

Hubby helps. “I got me a full visual on #2 and a partial on #1. Do you read me? Over and out.”

But, on the days I venture solo to a play date at the park or museum….Oh, my!

“Sit here! Your sister’s getting away.”

“Sit here. Come here. Not you. You! Sit. You. Stay. You coooooome HERE!”

“Gotcha, ya little bugger! Where’s your sister?”

“Which way did she go? Which way did she go?”

“Where’s my daughter? Not that one. The other one.”

“Here. Here. Here. ….Come baaaack here!”

“….And don’t eat that!”

I spin around so much, I wouldn’t be surprised if my body corkscrewed its way into the ground. I am sure I’d make a great permanent fixture in the park between the slides and swings, jaw dropped wide, eyes rolling, hands flailing, my Medusa locks on end. Hopefully, I would provide some solace to other mothers on their wild run through the park chasing a toddler or two. Perhaps a plaque at my feet… “Motherhood…She came undone.” ??

11 comments:

Vickie said...

Oh, it is the worst when you are by yourself. I cannot take them grocery shopping. The 2 1/2year old runs to the other side of the store. I have gotten looks and mean comments. I no longer take them with me.

Ann Imig said...

Oohh, yes I picture you as a water feature spraying all the toddlers as they come over to observe...

Anonymous said...

Must be a good work out for ya!

nikkicrumpet said...

LOLOLOL You cracked me up with this one! I can just see you spinning and flayling around. Dang I wonder how many calories that burns...maybe I need to rent me some toddlers!

Anonymous said...

You are so funny! I always laugh out loud when reading your blog. Probably because it is all so true!
I love this line:

Hubby helps. “I got me a full visual on #2 and a partial on #1. Do you read me? Over and out.”

Anonymous said...

If you're a mother and you *never* sport that harried look on your face, I honestly don't want to know you. I can't even know that you exist.

Lesley said...

Love this.....I am trying to decide If I should really be encouraging my son to become mobile....or revel in his lack of motor skills....Happy SITS day

The Joye of Teaching said...

I remember my dad constantly asking me where my sister was! hehehe I guess it is a team effort

Knit Purl Gurl said...

Gosh I've been there. Fortunately my kids are 9 years apart.. but the chasing, reaching for kiddos, and the utter confusion that something accompanies the complete chaos of motherhood is enough to buy stock in Calgone

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! I had the full visual of you stuck in the ground, plaque and all! Love this post!

Michie said...

I totally understand your pain! I have a 12 year old that plays sports and two toddlers. My husband works second shift so I am usually at the games alone with the girls pulling my hair out trying to watch my son play at the same time.