My second baby was 8 months old when we first noticed it at the dinner table.
“Argh! Arrrrrgh! ARGH!” She spouted.
“Looks like the stork brought a baby pirate,” I noted.
Hubby nodded and whistled a piratey tune. We all joined in, creating what is now considered our family theme song.
“Argh! Argh!
Oh, I’m a baby pirate.
Yes, I am
I like to poop my pants
Whenever I can.”
“I’m the meanest baby pirate
Of the seven seas
I’ll make ya walk the plank
Then I’ll make ya feed me peas! ARRRGH!”
Today, at 16 months, my baby is a wobbly toddler pirate with a bit of a drunken swagger to her waddle. She chugs her sippy cup, one eye closed and screams “ARGH!” with well practiced gusto.
I promise ya, Captain Hook and I did not have a little roll in the hay back in late ’06. No encounters with Blackbeard either. Maybe there was a little mix up at the hospital. Think my real toddler is being rocked to sleep on some rickety boat by a peg legged sea rat while I sing “Wish Upon a Star” to my lil’ dozing pirate in her crib?
Ya don’t think her piratey DNA will manifest any further, do you?
“This term, your daughter continues to excel in all curricular areas. As discussed at our last parent teacher conference, she is working on keeping her hands to herself. Please see me about confiscated sword. PS. Her map skills are off the charts!”
Do you think she’ll face any social awkwardness among her peers?
“Ahoy, Mateys! Up for a playdate? ARRGH!”
And criminal behavior is purely environmental, right?
“... I keep finding these giant black X’s in the sandbox…Hey, where’s my watch?!”
And surely I can influence her with my calm motherly demeanor.
“NO! I will NOT buy you just one hoop earring!”
Well, I guess ya never know what you’re in for when you roll those genetic dice. Just gotta roll with the punches!
ARGH! Shiver me timbers!
10 years ago
16 comments:
And with this, we have to remember to look back many years ahead and use this against them when they are in their terrible teens. Cause I hear it's worse than two's.
God help us!
what a great post! i love the image of a toddler with a hoop earring. too funny!
"Her map skills are off the charts!" THAT is funny!
hehehe...when she crafts an eye patch out of scraps of felt...you'll know you're in trouble.!
LOL. Loved this post. Better get some aaarghyle socks!
Sorry it's late.
Loved this post! So visual and hilalrious.
Better watch out for her at the movie theater...she'll sneak in to all the films rated ARRRRRRRRR!
(groan)
That would be a perfect children's book. Seriously.
tee hee...cute!
Hilarious! Can't wait to see the men she brings home. Do you think they look anything like Johnny Depp?
You are soooo funny. Hate to tell you, my daughter has yet to outgrow it....Arrrghhhh!
That pirate song is great!
Well, ya know I love me some pirates! Of all varieties! Ahoy l'il matey!
I had the same thoughts as Christie...man, if we can use your daughter to meet Johnny Depp...jackpot! Kidding, loved the post!
Very funny post!
So funny! I have a pirate baby too! In fact he even has pacifiers with skulls and cross bones on them and what's with the "arghs?" Good to know they may not stop!
You are a funny lady! X's in the sand . Wheres my watch? OKay- I'm sold. I am gonna have to start following your blog. I always appreciate someone who makes me feel less weird about creating similar scenarios in my head (which must ALWAYS have songs)
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