Stroller 101

My stroller was on its side, like a wounded animal sprawled in the middle of the parking lot. Baby Boo was strapped in the car, howling. (see Colic?) And, I was appraising the wounded animal nervously.

“I think it’s dead.” I told my hubby over the cell phone. My hubby’s voice droned on and on over the cell phone, spewing stroller technical support my way. It had been my first solo outing since the stork had arrived with my first baby and, so far, the outing was a train wreck.

I had been successful in my attempt to strap Baby Boo in her car seat. I had spent the better half of the morning wrestling and restraining her little wiggly body into her infant car seat. Wasn’t that the hard part? (gulp)

Getting the stroller out of the trunk and erecting it to a full standing position proved to be a colossal act of eye hand coordination, mental focus, fine motor dexterity, and physical strength. Releasing the infant car seat from the car was another stumbling block (thanks to the secret release button). Placing the car seat on to the fully erected (get your mind out of the gutter) stroller challenged my spatial skills and tapped into a hidden reservoir of engineering ‘know how’ I didn’t know I had. The surrounding air had been littered with colorul and creative utterances ( who me?) and my post partum belly fat flopped with each push and grunt.

“Push the release button or the stroller will collapse from the weight of the car seat.,” my beloved tech guy continued.

Another button? Hit the wrong button, the whole thing collapses, hit the right button, nothing happens unless you simultaneously pull upward while applying pressure downward until you hear the victorious click. Check the brake. The brake always throws a monkey wrench into the pot. Flip the safety bar otherwise the whole kit and kaboodle could go head over heels. Adjust the strap. A twisted strap will cause the male portion of the safety belt to meet up with the female portion ( I know what you’re thinking) in such a way that they will be not be undone without the use of a screwdriver. Not a task for the faint of heart.

“Did you hear the click?” My tech support was getting anxious.

Yes, I heard the click. Yeah, for me! I was proud. I could do this Mama thing. I walked proudly with my fully erected stroller, finger nails broken, hands greasy, forearm scratched and beads of sweat glistening. Now, I just hope my tech support guy would be available for the ride home.