The Laundry Fairy

A family of two becomes a family of four. Laundry doubles, right? Somehow, the math doesn’t work that way in our house. After the birth of two children, our laundry room exploded. Full hampers were multiplied by 10. Smelly socks reproduced like gerbils. And laundry baskets ceased to empty.

I sort and wash. I sort and fold. I sort and put away. I turn around to find myself knee deep in the Pacific Ocean of freshly soiled clothing. I am convinced an evil laundry fairy feathered her nest behind my dryer. She cackles with delight turning each lone stinky sock into three, filling laundry baskets to the rim, and spewing lipstick all over whites. With one wave of her wand, the tide of laundry rolls back into one mega tsunami of assorted soiled garments primed and ready to drown the lady of the house.

I know she’s there. She curls up with the dust bunnies in the dead of night, taking a joy ride in the dryer and washing up in the cat bowl in the morning. She giggles as she dozes, malice in her heart, dreaming up new ways to work me to death.

Not sure if she came with the house or if she followed me home from the maternity ward. How does one rid themselves of such a pest? Didn’t see any Fairy Lures or Tinkerbell traps for sale at Home Depot. Weren’t any poisoned apples in the produce aisle. No Fairy B Gone in the garden section.

Does one need to seek the assistance of some unsavory types for a solution? “I want her gone. And not in front of the children.”

Or do I seek the advice from a leaf reading character. “I see winged beasts plaguing your living space...I’ll give ya a two for one on a house cleanse.”

Maybe it’s time for a new pet. “So, ya got any big, ugly, mouse catching type kitties for sale?”

Hubby always offers to assist with the extra loads. “Thanks, hon, but I think I got it under control,” I lie. After all, one evil laundry fairy is about all I can take.

Hmmmmm…Think this what-cha-ma-call-it might fix her wagon?