Friday, September 11, 2009

What's That Growl Coming From the Closet?

Apparently, it was a green, furry finger emerging from the back of the closet that first got her attention.

Then, it was a glowing eyeball or two under the bed, blinking and winking in the darkness.

A growl from behind the stuffed animals was what pushed her over the edge.

At 1:30 AM.

Of course, a full safety inspection occurred complete with Mommy, Daddy and a Mag-lite flashlight…

A thorough search under the bed.

A long probe deep inside the closet.

Nothing.

It was explained that a vivid imagination often accompanies the fourth year of life.

“You’ll outgrow it.”

“Everyone gets nightmares.”

“It just isn’t real!”

However, my professor of a preschooler begged to differ.

“He was right here, Mommy.”

We tried to reason that we are the director of our own dreams. As such, the option to fire a particular dream cast member is always available.

“Tell him to go away,” said Daddy.

“You’re the boss.” I agreed. “Tell him to go bother someone else.”

She pondered this.

“Do you think he will listen?”

We reassured her that, yes, he will listen. If she really meant it, he would. If she ordered that monster out of the darkness with courage and determination, he’d flee. If she remained strong and firm, he’d just disappear. If she believed, he’d leave. Vanish. Scram.

And, he did.

He left with his tail between his furry legs, making a direct path to someone else’s closet.

Now, if I could just follow my own advice, we can boot him out of our family’s home altogether.

The kid was right. He is kinda creepy. Especially when he’s licking my Ugg boots. Ick.

________________________________________________________________

Today I am being featured on Mompedia Voices here. Be sure to check out this great new mom site!



Raising a family is hard. Hard on your health, and hard on your bank account. EVeryone needs help now and again. If you're stuck in a rut, hop online and check out all the available resources you have. Find care free financial aid and payday loans to use at your disposal. Relax, and grab a helping hand!

20 comments:

Amy said...

Got to love the kisses.

Suzi said...

I used to have to do a crazy dance and sing a sort of "go away" song to get the monsters out. Then I would chase them out of the house and slam the door so the boys knew it was gone.

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

So funny....well NOT to the little ones. My ten year old STILL has nightmares that shake her in her boots! When she was little we had to "spray" the bad guys/monsters away with her "special" spray. (an aerosol can with label torn off.)
Worked like a charm!

Big Mama Cass said...

Yay!!! Glad it worked. I am wondering how i am going to deal with all of that soon.

Anonymous said...

So funny! I love Suzi's idea with dancing them out the front door - LOL~

FranticMommy said...

One question....was he house trained? :)
We use monster repellent (perfume). Works like a charm.

Anonymous said...

Poor baby. :(

Heather of the EO said...

ooooh, I like what Frantic Mommy said. Monster repellent. Genius.

And you are hilarious, as usual.

OneZenMom said...

Excellent strategy! :)

jubilee said...

We had a similar strategy: a spray bottle w/water. Only, don't make the same mistake we did and leave it with the little one to use at their discretion. Everything in the room was damp the next morning.

wyliekat said...

I sincerely hope that both girls continue to be completely oblivious to any and all creepy crawly mysteries in our house. Probably attribute any noise they hear to the cats. ;-}

The Blonde Duck said...

Great new features!

My dogs do monster hunting, if you're interested.

Jeanne Estridge said...

Great advice to the kid -- I'll have to save that for when the grandkids hit that stage.

Momma Hunt said...

This isn't a phase I am looking forward too

Tiffany said...

Good job on giving her some authority!

Nice article on the other site as well!

Lady Mama said...

Glad you helped her banish the monsters!

The Blonde Duck said...

Miss Pickles wants to know what time she should come over.

Mary | Deep South Dish said...

Awwwww... poor baby.

Congrats on your feature!!

Hi! Popping over from SITS roll call to visit.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.