Friday, October 2, 2009

Mommy Morphing

I suffer from Mamma Morphing Disorder. I spontaneously morph into various personalities to suit the situation.

Sometimes I am an old hag complete with a wart and hump shouting my commands and demands.

“For the last time!! Clean up this mess!!”

I am a witch perched atop a broom.

“Time for bed, my pretties!! (insert cackle)”

I am a furry beast baring yellow fangs.

What did you say? GRRRR!”

I am a house troll chained beneath the stair.

“This laundry will be the death of me!”

I am a wicked schoolmarm armed with ruler and whistle.

“SHHHHHH!”

I am a hunchback in the bell tower, dragging my foot behind me.

“Really, how long has it been since I’ve had a good wax and cut?”

Happily, on rare occasion, I am the Fairy Godmother smiling from amongst the silvery pumpkins.

“Ice cream for everybody. Yeah!”

It’s a regular Disney circus around here.

A storybook soiree.

A cartoon carnival.

A bit of a beastie ball.

Sigh.

Sometimes this revolving door of Disney characters gets the best of me.

“Back in the closet, Tabitha and Isadora. Tuesdays are your day, remember? “

A bit of a scheduling nightmare, really.

Kinda hard to keep up.

24 comments:

Amy said...

At least you keep it fun. Have a great weekend.

adrienzgirl said...

So...Mammatalk, I am thinking after reading your post that you might be suffering from Dissociative Identity Disorder, you may need to seek medication therapy! :D

Happy Friday!

jubilee said...

Today, I feel like the house troll chained beneath the stair!

Vickie said...

So that is why my kids laugh at me...they think I am a Disney character:)

Sara said...

What a positive spin on the craziness of mommyhood! :D Love it! My kid told me he doesn't want me picking him up from Grandma's anymore cause I yell. :S I don't yell...they don't listen! lol

wyliekat said...

I am a house troll chained beneath the stair.

After a week like I've had at work, this actually sounds appealing to me.

Anonymous said...

Ha. So true. I have a plethora of personalities to me as well.

FranticMommy said...

At least you're not shouting "off with their heads!!.."

I think I suffer from reverse Body dysmorphic. I always think I'm thinner than I really am!

Liz Mays said...

The transition from one to the next can be Sybil-esque, can't it?!!

Geezees Custom Canvas Art said...

We Mommy's have a language of our own. :)

The Redhead Riter said...

Those days go by too fast! Enjoy every Hunchback moment! LOL LOL

Frogs in my formula said...

Sounds like you're doing a fabulous job. Your blog always makes me chuckle.

Vic said...

This is hilarious! You remind me of my mother a bit with random one liners. :) Sometimes it's best to just make everyone laugh.

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

Hey...you can't be boring and the SAME every day! Ya gotta keep 'em guessing right???

Rachel said...

Oh dear. If I only had your energy....

Jeanne Estridge said...

My only child is 36-years-old -- but I still have a Polly Pocket and stuffed frog from a McDonald's Happy Meal in my back seat.

There's no getting away from it.

Anonymous said...

Everything in our house has either a Disney or Pixar name to it. Inanimate objects get the title of Cinderella, Fox and the Hound or Mr. Incredible (or Mrs. Incredible when they see me open jars with only 1 attempt!) But oddly enough my daughters imaginary dog is named Broccoli...hmm..

My best, Lynn

Debbie said...

You and me both! It is hard to juggle all of these personalities, isn't it?

Unknown said...

LOL...sounds like me... esp. the witch part! : )

Anonymous said...

I think my mom had this. Her voice would magically get all sweet and nice when she answered the phone.

I'm pretty sure I suffer from it too.

Christie said...

You're too clever. Mom's really do play a lot of roles, don't they. Thanks for making me fell like I'm not the only witch/fair godmother out there! :-)

Jamie said...

I have days like that all the time! The last couple of days it's been fire breathing and shooting daggers from my eyes....Great times!

Bramblemoon Farm said...

I thought all moms had these personalities! BAHAHHAHA I think they start developing the moment we find out we are pregnant.

lauren said...

too funny! i feel like i am going to be like that one day. thanks for the heads up! ha