What started out as a one man party has now turned into an army….
An army of single socks mingling in my bottom drawer commiserating in their loneliness.
I always keep them, you know.
If they don’t find their mate straight out of the dryer, I let them stick around.
I look them in the eye and tell them someday their prince will come. I promise them that if they go about their lives, chin up, there eventually will be a lover’s reunion.
“Don’t settle,” I remind them when I see one of them eyeing a less than desirable suitor.
“Don’t sell yourself short,” I lecture as I untangle a clingy polyester blend from a cotton athletic sock.
Other times, a different reminder is needed. “Let’s do try to stay within our own league,” I whisper to a worn out wooly who was whistling at a satiny hose.
I’ve always had a tender heart for the lovelorn. But, I do think things may have gotten out of hand.
It was a late Saturday night. Hubby and I had fallen asleep early watching a flick. I was lost in a dream about….ah, no matter.
Suddenly, I heard some rowdiness coming from the bottom drawer.
The closer I got, the louder it became.
I clearly could make out Disco music mixed with laughter and some….muffled groans?
I opened the drawer a crack and was horrified.
I don’t want to get into details, but let’s just say I have quite the wild crew residing in my bottom drawer.
Might be time to weed out the undesirables.
Anyone interested in a fishnet thigh hi?
She seems to be the root to this madness….been like a cat in heat since she’s lost her better half….
28 comments:
LMAO!! Send her my way, my singles are lonely and dull.
Get those socks out of there and stuff them for pet toys or stick em on your arm for dusting (when you get the urge to clean!)
Maybe I have a few of the lost mates at my house. I have a gift bag full of them at my house. Perhpas we can work out an arrangement
Pretty boring in our sock drawer... I only buy black socks now cause I am too lazy to try to match them... : )
I am totally mystified by the vanishing of socks. Really. I don't have a huge house, but I've lost dozens - where on Earth do they manage to hide?!
Best.Post.EVER!!!!!
Party in your drawers! Sounds like a good time!
No pun intended.
Adorable post!
I started buying the same socks. ALL the same, cause really, the mystery of the socks? I was never gonna crack that one. Now when one or two go missing, I don't notice as much.
I do the same thing. Then when I clean out the drawer I still may see a few that are left behind.
Be careful -- you'll wind up with a drawerful of toe socks in a few months.....
No, don't let them get started thinking they can get away with a sock orgy! Not on your watch!
Awesome! What a naughty stocking!
OH! Now, THAT is funny!!
I have a sock monster...see him regularly...I fight with him and have yet to win a battle! A conniving, scrappy lil beast!
I'm going to tweet this post. This is so freaking funny. You're a genius. :)
where'd my comment go? just checking...
oh nevermind. I forgot they're moderated. Just ignore these last two :)
I think this is my problem - I have two approaches to lone socks. Once in a while, I get all resolute and decide I'm not keeping them anymore - so out they all go. But there's this other side of me that thinks they'll eventually find their mates again, so I hang on to a pile of socks without partners. Whose partners I've probably thrown out.
I do find it entertaining when I self-defeat. Or would that be de-feeting?
Oh gosh, that was a much-needed laugh. You are made of awesome!!
I love your sense of whimsy.
LOLOL!!! Great post! I've got a lot of lonely athletic anklets in my drawer... maybe they'd like to meet up with your socks?
~Elizabeth
http://confessionsfromaworkingmom.blogspot.com
Ha! Here we go again, I knew your blog was the best thing to read before getting ready. I keep holding on hope because one day all of the laundry will be done - and surely the missing matches are just in the laundry... surely they are... if I just get the laundry done!! Yep, one day...
No but I've got a athletic that is trying to throw his weight around.
I went through a phase where I was so sick of losing socks that I would literally safety pin the sock pair together before I washed them. Then I realized that took too long....
HA HA HA! I can't stop laughing. You always have such a way of putting a spin on things. Great writing, for sure! Now, about that thigh hi... I'd take her off your hands, but I'm afraid she'd wind up a "mid-calfer" for me, and I want her to live up to her full potential!
You don't want to get into details??? Are you kidding? We want details!!!! We want pictures! We blog readers are so voyeuristic, dontcha know.
Oh, sure, blame the fishnet thigh hi...
LOL I am so glad I'm not the only one with a drawer full of lonely socks!
I better go check on the socks I bought that came in a 3-pack; I am probably just aiding and abetting a threesome...
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