The Stranger on my Tree...

There was an ornament, red and shiny, that was hanging from our Christmas tree.

It certainly looked innocent enough, hanging there as ornaments do, going about its business looking jolly and bright.

However, I knew better.

I had never laid eyes on this particular Christmas bulb before. This festive, shiny ball was a stranger to me. And, here it was rubbing elbows with my Baby’s First Christmas and hubby’s second grade stained glass candy cane.

“Where the heck did that come from?” I inquired, finger pointing.

“Dunno. The box from the attic?” hubby suggested.

Now, as the official ornament Queen, I know what is in each and every holiday box. Hubby was never a collector of things merry and bright. I am the one who carried the Christmas….um….baggage….so to speak…..into our union. I started my collection as a school teacher, amassing ornaments from my third grade students every December. And, here I am today still gleefully buying tinkling holiday balls to adorn our tree.

This ornament, my friends, did not belong with my beloved Christmas doo-dads.

This was a party crasher.

“I’ve never seen that ball in my life.”

“Well…….ah…….OK,” said hubby.

However, neither of us wanted to show the poor thing the door. Didn’t seem like the charitable thing to do. So, it was decided, that we would embrace the ornament as if it were one of our own. Provide it with a family. Give it a home.

Or at least allow it to hang out for awhile. Ahem.

So, we did just that. And, all was well.

Until it went missing one day.

My initial suspicions were correct.

It was Santa spyware.

Equipped with a miniature camera and a microphone, that darn thing went double agent on us. It recorded our every move. It knew when we were sleeping. It knew when we were awake. It knew when we were bad and good.

Better watch out, for Goodness sake!

Don’t tell me, you still believe Santa has a magic telescope, do ya?