My Monthly Dragon

I have a beast that lives in my closet. Scaly and mean, she naps most of the month. But, sometime between week three and four, like clockwork, she rears her ugly head. It usually starts with a low guttural growl of a warning, escalates quickly, and if not carefully managed, can make an ugly mess.

Hubby is quick to help manage the crisis. His emergency trips to the grocery store are always met with appreciation.

“Drop the chips and back away!”

Our darling daughters contribute to the cause.

“Mommy, where’s my Halloween candy?”

Door to door salesmen take one for the Gipper.

“We DON”T want any!!!!!!!”

My OB/GYN offered tidbits of advice.

“There is a birth control pill that has a little Prozac in it.”

And, at the peak of the fury, the bagger at the grocery store offered himself up as a sacrificial lamb.

“Don’t put the EGGS at the BOTTOM!!!!”

Luckily, after scorching one or two victims to the bone, my dragon grows weary and retreats, belly full, to a cozy corner of my closet, nestling her head between my slippers and UGGS

And, a calm settles upon the village……….for now!