Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Wanted Poster

Wanted Dead or Alive

MY FREE TIME

Aliases: Me time, leisure time, naptime, shower time, curled-up-with-a-book-time, down time, shopping time, occasional-spa-time, wasting time, killing time, vegging time

Last seen: Heading south of the border with partner in crime, “My Spare Cash”

Reward: Am short on cash (see above), but am willing to clean, vacuum or fold laundry for whomever apprehends suspect. After all, if caught I will have the time.

Wanted for: Cruel abandonment and petty theft (see above)
Description: Has that "just back from the islands" pre-kids glow, drink in hand, looking for the next party

Watch out ladies everywhere! You could be next. Crime usually occurs shortly after storky visit.
Not armed, not dangerous…but certainly wanted….NOW!

42 comments:

DiPaola Momma said...

OMG you freakin' crack me up!!! If I didn't know you were a mom (as this is an excuse) I'd think you were NUTZO! Stopping by to click your ads for click fest.. CLICK CLICK CLICKITY CLICK!

The Rambler said...

Those bastards. Mine's been missing....2 1/2 years now.

I just pray whoever has her knows...they are going DOWN when I find them.

deb@virginia blue said...

I don't think I got ANY of that "me-time" back until my kids reached the teen years...

it's a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, though... =)

As usual, you've made me giggle fiercely! And just because I can ALWAYS count on your for that, I left you an award on my blog!

Natalie said...

Not good. Lucky I live on the other side of the globe, I would certainly help you track him down!!xx

Suzi said...

Mine has been gone for the last 7.5 years and sanity is starting to head south of the border as well.

By the way, I tagged you with the Honest sCrap award too.

Megan R. said...

You couldn't possibly mean this will happen to me, right? (looks at self, no make up, disheveled hair, spit up on shoulder, house a mess, crying baby...) No, definitely not me....

Heather said...

AMEN SISTER!!!!!!!

It's been five and a half (actually, three quarters) years since I saw either of those characters. Spare Cash would be equally welcomed back to my home these days......

Thanks for the laugh!

Julia said...

Sheriff I'm glad you posted about the bandit in town...I think your on to something here. What you got in your holsters these days? Sippy cups?

Anjanette Young said...

Oh My gosh... I love your posts, hilarious....

Kitten said...

Oh Spare Cash, oh Spare Cash, whereforeart thou, Spare Cash?

Michelle said...

LOL! Call crime stoppers asap!!! :)

wenderful said...

Hasn't been seen around these parts. But if I find it, it may not turn it in. :)

Astrid in Bristling Acres said...

OMG! Hilarious! Thanks for the LOL!

Ummm...yes ...mine's been missing for 5 years now.

Anonymous said...

Lol!

Rae Ann said...

As always, fab post!

For me the free time was last seen heading south with any semblance of my waistline. I'd like to apprehend both!

Ash said...

It's heading south of the border!?

Let me know if it finds my breasts and belly while it's off having fun.

Good for nothing free time!

Anonymous said...

What is free time? Can anyone tell me?

Ryan Ashley Scott said...

Do you have a club? Ahaha. Great laughs, thanks.

bernthis said...

Have you seen my sex life? I think it's with your free time.

Nutty Mom said...

Aha, I've found my "free time" ....but you have to be willing to be up at 3am, when a baby does not need to be fed. And then, in that 5 minute window....::deep breath::....BLISS

WheresMyAngels said...

You lost me at ...........spare cash;)

OneZenMom said...

I don't think my Free Time was stolen. I'm pretty sure that two-timing SOB ran off with my perky breasts and flat stomach shortly after these short, damanding little munchkins moved into my house. :D

Anonymous said...

Let me know if you find mine while you're looking.

I also seemed to have misplaced my patience and waist.

Jaden Paige said...

tee hee. You are so funny!

Mercedes said...

Hmm. Mine must have run off with yours.

Unknown said...

Mine took off too, has been missing for just over 6 months more... How dare they just take off and leave us like that? Bastages!! I can't even take a shower without the little guy crying... talk about no peace!!

Mommy's Wish List said...

I was just wondering where that guy went myself. He obviously ran off to Tijuana with MySanity, MyEyesight, MyAbilityToFinishABook, MyLeftSocks, and MyPrettySize2WorkClothes. I heard they're meeting up with MyNeglectedGarden, MyUnfinishedDinner, MyExpensiveMakeup and MySalonQualityStylingTools to party their a**es off dancing on what's left of MyIdentity. If you see them, tell them Hurricane Luka says they can come home WHEN PIGS FLY.
--Mommy (formerly known as Lea Ann)

Alisha said...

I have to print that out and stick it on my fridge now. lol

Dawn Parsons Smith said...

I'm stilling lookin for those characters! Mine split 13 years ago..jerks...

Tara Bennett said...

LOL. So true! You never disappoint with the laugh out loud factor! Thanks girl. =)

Anonymous said...

Hey! That crook hit my house, too. Damn him! That free time was mine, all mine!

Paging Doctor Mommy said...

Girl you crack me up! Hey, if you ever find that free time, be sure to send it my way... I could sure use it!

Anonymous said...

I have stopped looking for both...now I am just trying to be satisfied with WE time. Apparently my "me time" is lying in Charlton Heston's cold, dead hands! Anyone got a crowbar?

ParentingPink said...

Oh, this is too creative AND funny! I think I'm going to be a "wanted" mom soon! LOL

Jeanne Estridge said...

I clieked your Rachel Ray's diet ad (after I found it) and it wouldn't let me come back to you! I had to start back at my blogroll and link in again!

nikkicrumpet said...

LOL too cute. But even with all my kids grown and gone...I swear I still don't have any time!!

Anonymous said...

If you catch some, send it my way.

The Blonde Duck said...

Look for mind too while you're at it!

DiPaola Momma said...

I think we need to team up on this one babe, mine is missing too! Maybe they are out having the life we want, I.D. theft is rampant I'm told!

Stephanie said...

This is hilarious! I absolutely love your sense of humor!

Thanks for stopping by my blog today! :)

BPOTW said...

If yours is found and captured please make sure mine is caught as well; I'm sure they're running off together, thoughtless little...

Thanks for sharing with BPOTW!

Vanessa Rogers said...

That was hilarious! I am still laughing!